he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
