i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
