my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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