I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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