i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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