Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
