Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
