I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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