filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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