u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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