Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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