I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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