I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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