I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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