just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
