i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
