There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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