So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
