Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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