Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
