just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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