Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
