Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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