Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
