Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
