Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
