I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
