Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
