He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
