i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
you made out with another girl for some wings
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
