I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
