I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
