im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Blood and glitter go together right?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
