Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
