Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
