id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
