Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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