Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
i believe in u and ur pee
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
