if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
