I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
