we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
