Are we in a gay sports bar?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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