Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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