thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
