Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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