He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
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Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
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How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
God, I missed his penis.
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