I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
