I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just made my gag reflex go away.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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