It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
