thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
