I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
