i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
