her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
