He kissed a someone with a penis
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
