He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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