I want to stick my p in your. b.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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