i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
