I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
