its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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