He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
