? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
